For those of you who like thinkin', which I know ain't all y'all...
So me and my favorite preacher, Gary Fallwell, was out at my estate, Rabies Acres, the other day supervisin' the boys who I had out back buildin' an arc which we need in preparation for when our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ, return from heaven to wreak fire and flood upon this great nation. We buildeth the arc, as per scripture, so that we might keepeth all the animals by the two of 'em on there so oncin' the flood waters receedeth, the animals can thus re-populate the earth and provide us with good meat for barbecue. Well, I was lookin' at the boys who was toilin' in the hot sun amongst the weeds and dread malaria flies and I got to thinkin': How's come one of 'em that ain't fat is called Hog and the one of 'em that's the size of a dang boar pig is called Uncle Snuff? And how's come he ain't the uncle of nobody as far as I know? And why's he called Snuff when he uses mostly chewin'-on tobacco? Well, I don't reckon I can answer any of these questions but I thought I might give ya'll a chance to have a crack at 'em.
Your Friend,
McElroy Boyd
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