Has anyone seen the Wolf?

Me and the Wolf got into some drinking last night and, well, I left him in a ditch on my estate, Rabies Acres. I figured it was just about pass out time and left him with a jar of wolfshine to keep him warm should he wake up in the middle of the night. Half hour later, I hear this howlin' and a little bit of screamin' and hollerin' and I don't think much of it but when I wake up I find that someone has siphoned the gasoline out of my Bronco II, which I call She-Beast, and my four wheeler ATV is nowhere to be found. Well, I think you can guess who it is that done all of this so if any of you see a wolf riding on my ATV wearing only underpants and probably hollerin' about somethin' or another, try to knock him off it and send him on back to Rabies Acres where I can keep an eye on him.

Your Friend,
McElroy Boyd

Our Hearts Go Out to the Haitian Earthquakes

Me and the boys here all feel real bad about them earthquakes. I know all about it since I dated a Haitian girl for a couple weeks. She was nice but real strange. Made me pay her fifteen bucks every time I saw her and wouldn't kiss me after. Different culture, I guess. Anyway, we all thought on it and we figured we would offer up all them new songs we re-corded w/ world famous producer Dick Rubin 100% free of charge to all our fans in order to help the relief effort. Enjoy and make sure Hatia is in your prayers.

Your Friend,
McElroy Boyd

The New Songs Is Up

Let me tell you, I am all worn out after finishing that re-cording session!

I had to wrassle that damn Snuff when he decided he'd rather sit on a dock chewing Quaaludes than re-cord guitar on his own album. Imagine that! He put up some kind of fuss, that boy. I reeled him in good though and put one of them electric dog collars on him so I can give him a shock when he acts up. Doesn't seem to feel it much though, might even kind of like it.

Anyhow, the sound is rockin' and it was produced by Dick Ruben, who is probably the most famous producer I know of. We did it with his mobile unit on my estate, Rabies Acres, so we would really let the boys go wild. The Wolf has a real good holler and we got it down pretty good on tape. We even got him to stay awake most of the time and only had to spray him down w/ the hose once. The rest of the boys, well, they're trouble but they mean well and me and Dick Ruben managed to keep 'em out of the stash box long enough to get some rock and roll music out of 'em before they wandered off.

Your Friend,
McElroy Boyd

I got the boys together to do some re-cordings

Yessir, and they're almost done. Only problem is Hog got so drunk he thought the re-cording console was some sort of a a terlet so he threw a cherry bomb at it and broke one of them little slidy things when he was trying to flush it. I set him down and told him to settle and since then we got just about everything redone but we just want to make sure everything sounds just so before we put them up. My advice to you at this time is relax and listen to a Jerry Lee Lewis record. Maybe have sex with your cousin. Hell, I don't know what you kids do for fun up north...